Jurassic Park is a movie about dinosaurs killing people, but several things had to go wrong in order for this to happen. Sure, the security system getting shut down by Newman from Seinfeld was a big one, but before that came the news that the dinosaurs were breeding out of control, despite the fact that it should have been impossible.
This is one of the big twists of the film, when paleontologist Dr. Sam Neill discovers that the dinosaurs are breeding despite the fact that they were genetically engineered to all be female (specifically to prevent this). It is a development that, indeed, no one saw coming, for how in the name of science could a bunch of prehistoric lizards equipped with nothing but girl parts be expected to make babies?
However, if you were paying close attention, it’s a twist the movie gives away in the first 20 minutes.
The Foreshadowing: It’s played as just a throwaway joke — as the helicopter carrying all the ’90s-fashionable scientists swoops down toward Isla Nublar, Neill is told to buckle his seat belt. But then this happens:
That’s right — Neill is stuck with two buckles, rather than the tongue and buckle combination required to secure him safely to the helicopter bench. The clasp, incidentally, is also referred to as the “female” end, so Sam is technically stuck with nothing but female parts. He continues fumbling around with the mismatched seat belt while Jeff Goldblum stares him down like a guy who knows a thing or two about female parts.
Finally, having exhausted every possible option, Neill resorts to simply tying the two ends of the belt together to form a makeshift seat belt.
There you go — he needed to create something new (a seat belt), but all he had were female ends. So, he improvised. This is exactly what ends up happening with the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. They were left with only one half of the necessary gender pairing to breed, but somehow they are able to create baby dinosaurs. They made it work.
Watching Jurassic Park for the first time in over 10 years opened my eyes to the fact that the movie is a great reminder to use protection and to not have kids ever, because half of the shit wouldn’t have happened if the screaming little shits hadn’t been there. (Put the fucking flashlight down and shut the fuck up or I’m feeding you to the T-Rex.)
Also, T-Rex is still as scary as it was when I was a little kid.
So I was sitting with a group of friends last night playing Cards Against Humanity, while a couple was having a drunk tussle behind the wall around the corner. All of a sudden, the guy reaches his torso around the corner, claws at the wall, and starts screaming “SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER!”
Watching drunk people imitate Jurassic Park had to have been one of the best moments in my life so far.
